How the Matrix sucks

The first Matrix movie was re-run by a local tv-station and I re-re-saw the first half of it, but simple couldn’t stand it. I can’t believe that it seemed fresh and innovative when it came out just five years ago. The fight scenes are okay, but nothing special any more, but what really annoyed me was the science babble. Lot’s of people have talked lots, about the “humans as batteries”? nonsense, but what really annoyed me is the “if you die online, you die in real life”? crap.

After the first Morpheus vs Neo training fight scene, Neo is bleeding and aching all over, and this conversations ensues:

Neo: I thought it wasn’t real
Morpheus
: Your mind makes it real
Neo
: If you’re killed in the matrix, you die here?
Morpheus
: The body cannot live without the mind

What the fuck? Morpheus is dodging the question! Answer the fucking question Morpheus!

1 The mind does not have the power to inflict damage to the body or we would all have tried waking up with broken bones or whatever after a crazy dream.

2 More importantly: Why should the mind leave the body? Entering the matrix could work two ways: a: Your mind leaves your brain and runs in the matrix or b: your mind keeps running on your own hardware but gets and sends sensory input and command to the matrix.

a. Is simply stupid. You have to upload state and connection data for 10^11 neurons (that’s a lot of data) and you have to return all this information in it’s new state when done. But you also have to run it all in new hardware – why do you even have to be connected to the body, then? And why wipe the brain? – the mind is not a psycical thing, it’s a blob of data, that is copied and you actually have delete the original if you do not want it. Why not upload, unhook, and if the matrix version does well, return the new updated version from the matrix. But if the matrix version gets deleted, just fire up the local, dormant, version. Or simply take a back-up during the upload process and you can always download that version to your brain if something goes wrong in the Matrix.

I wouldn’t get into that chair without asking some very pointed questions about backups and such. What if the connection is lost? Some other ship near by fires of an EMP bomb and all that hardware running your mind or at least the connection to it gets fried. No thanks.

But more importantly: If the reason for the Matrix is to pacify the “human batteries”? and there’s nothing in there (in the brains of the batteries), because they are all in the Matrix, the Matrix isn’t really needed. Just Zap the brain and leave the heart controlling cortex running. Shouldn’t be that hard to re-write a simple mind from scratch that will run a non moving human body.

b. Makes a lot more sense, but Wachowski brothers are apparently lazy bastards, as it would take a lot of thinking if you are to make the story interesting, because it wouldn’t really matter if you got killed in the Matrix. Just reconnect and try again. So you need to find reasons why you do not want to be killed in the Matrix. Maybe it’s psychologically painful and maybe it take time to reconnect. Maybe the Matrix would be less important, compared to the Real World where you can be killed for real.

Oh, and the last two movies are just stupid and even more silly. And Carry-Anne Moss isn’t that hot.

10 thoughts on “How the Matrix sucks

  1. Anonymous

    Entertaining comments, but why are you being so critical of The Matrix? Of course not everything can actually happen and not everything makes sense. This is Hollywood after all. I thought the movie rocked – it’s a great concept and one of the best movies ever made. I do agree that movies 2 and 3 weren’t that great, though. As a friend of mine once put it, "once the novelty of the matrix wore off, I realized this was just another dumb movie with Keanu Reeves in it." LOL

    Reply
  2. TC Post author

    Well, I guess that I’m just a grumpy old fart. :-)

    No, seriously, I guess that I hadn’t noticed, before this viewing, that it’s "…just another dumb movie with Keanu Reeves in it", as your friend said it. When I noticed, it kind of got me angry and that’s why I’m being critical.

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  3. Anonymous

    I agree with you, the matrix blows.
    Not only because:
    -It contains irrational facts and it tries to rationalize them.
    -It ripped animation concept from Ghost in the Shell
    -It ripped sum of the "pop philosophy" from the movie Métropolis
    -It focused mainly on making good special effects but when you think about it the story is made for simple minds.
    -It was made to sell other products like PVC clothes and with matrix-style quotes on it.
    -According to that stupid "matrix philosophy" project, it was based on Ren? Decartes’ thoughts on reality. Ren? Descartes appearently thought that the world we live in could be an illusion created by malicious deamons. From my own readings, René Descartes was also a religious zealot and thought that he was sent on earth by god to research science..

    But mainly because:
    -It was blown out of proportion. People are so dumb and gulable they go to the theatre and whatch crappy movies like the matrix and come out of there flaberghasted because it made them think a little bit. THen they tell everybody about it, they buy the matrix t shirts and other stuff and then they start jacking off on pictures of the girl from the matrix which I cant remember her name cux the movie sucked so bad. If people were smart, they would understand that its just another dumb hollywood movie.

    Sum movies I like:
    -Doberman
    -Y tu mama tambien
    -Boys dont cry
    -September 11th (11 short films, from 11 different directors from 11 different countries, including sean penn)
    -Full Metal Jacket
    -Clockwork Orange
    -all other kubrick movies.. except AI which is not trully Kubrick
    -Metropolis
    -Natural born Killer
    -The pianist…
    -Many more…

    Reply
  4. Sam DeRenzis

    I should also mention I hate Disney for ripping off things from Anime like Kimba the White Lion and Giant Robo. They made alternate versions and called them The Lion King and Iron Giant.

    Reply
  5. Jabberwacky

    I think the martix is best of alot of moves to came out in many years. So much fasinating ideas and consepts to think about, it makes me think about the fewture a lot.

    Reply
  6. Philguy

    Why did you stop there? There is so much more about the matrix to hate. Philisophically the trilogy makes me bleed from the ears, Neo is ripped straight from the bible (I saw the connection and I am not even christian, just well read), the trilogy has severe continuity issues (Neo becomes the one, then goes back to kung fu’ing people in the second movie), the special effects were so overused it became trite (the end fight with agent smith made me yawn). Long story short, how much the matrix sucked is like asking how big is infinity.

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  7. www.fart.com

    yeah, it just dosent make any sense.

    1. HUMANS DONT PRODUCE ENERGY, humans CONSUME energy. the ammount of energy required to keep the humans alive would surpass the product.

    there are many ways of generating power, fossil fuels, nuclear, wind, geothermal, Hydroelectric, biomass, electricity.

    why use humans? why not have humming birds on treadmils?

    2. COMPUTERS CAN BE REPOROGRAMED. if the matrix is a computer program, why not just program a VIRUS. OR, just re-program your avatar to be 100 feet tall. with guns for hands. or a dragon that breathes fire.

    3. why go into the matrix AT ALL? what do they need to keep going into the matrix for? the war is with Robots Vs. Humans. they risked their life for nothing. and they killed innocent civilians in the process.

    4. the fighting is ridiculous. they jump on the walls and backflip and fly through the air like its an ACROBAT SHOW. just pull out a gun and shoot someone! why fly around like a pansy?

    5. WHY THE SILLY COSTUMES. you would think they would Try to be inconspicuous, blend in with the croud, but instead they dress up like homosexual, EMO-GOTH wannabees. WHATS WRONG WITH JEANS AND A T-SHIRT? nobody normal dresses like that. if you have ever worn LEATHER you know its stupid. its hot and uncomfortable and you cant move in it. let alone fight someone.

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  8. Morpheus

    YOu arre an absolute idiot, the matrix was and is a phenomenal movie, just because you’re stupid to understand why you die in the matrix as well as in real life doesnt mean the movie doesnt make sense. If your mind believes that you are dead because of the pain inflicted in the matrix, then it will shut down, IN THE MATRIX AND IN REAL LIFE. its not gonna shut down in the matrix and then be fine in your real world. The action is still phenomenal to this day, the FIRST HALF you watched as you say, isnt the part with all the incredible fight scenes, the opening scene does seem a little dated sometimes but that’s simply because they wanted to save the best for last. You are a moron.

    Reply

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