How the New Star Wars movies Suck

I finally go around to seeing Revenge Of the Sith. My expectations for this movie was very mixed. Phantom and Clone War both sucked, but where watchable on a pure action level. You probably already know all the standard complaints about them; stiff dialog and acting, Jar-Jar and outright stupidity aplenty. But then, I started to hear good stuff about Revenge. A bit better acting, emotional justification for the Anakin to Vader transformation, positive stuff like that.

Well, it’s not. The acting is as bad as always, maybe worse and the emotional justification for the transformation works – if you have the emotional complexity of a duck. But that’s not all, there are so many stupidities in there, that I had a hard time ignoring them. My stupidity filter really ran on overdrive. Just the first scene – Somebody please explain the science behind the space ship staring to fall like that. It was in space. Smashing the control room windows in a spaceship with a (electrified) stick? Yeah, right. Landing half a spaceship? Nooooooooooooo! But hey, this isn’t hard science fiction. It’s at best light fantasy, so I guess I have to let this slide…

But I’ve been thinking about why I really do not like the three new movies. I don’t like them on their own, but I absolutely hate them compared to the old movies. Well, hate is a strong word, what may indicate a bit to much active feeling from my side. I don’t care enough to actually hate.

But my conclusion is that they take them self way to seriously. Look at the old movies, think about why they where good. What did you like about them? Well, I don’t know about you, but for me it was/is the off-center characters. My favorite is probably Han Solo – Shoots first, has a price on his head, not afraid to tell Luke that he’s a brat, goes for the girl without holding back. Or how about the Millenium Falcon? That thing, has more personality then just about any character you’ll find in the new movies. Even Luke has a bit of personality, mostly a whiny personality, but he still makes sense as a person.

Where’s the personality in the new movies? Nobody ever does anything crazy. Where’s the technology that mostly, but not always work? The Podracer? The reason that it had problems was because Sebulba sabotaged it. I’m hard pressed to name anybody from these movies, that I would sit down and share a conversation and a beer with. Padme maybe, but her final crop out, confirms my suspicions that she really is a pushover with no real personality of her own. Cute, will only get you to the table – personality will get you a beer. Oh, while I’m on Padme ? Letting her self die after the birth of the twins, that just doesn’t make any sense. Yeah, she was devastated about Anakin being a stupid a-hole, but, really it couldn’t have been that much of a surprise. She just gave birth to twins – she will want to live. Anyway if she really doesn’t, just pump her full of drugs or connect her to a life support machine or what ever it takes to keep her alive, until her mind has gotten over the shock. Dying at that moment, only makes sense because it’s needed by the plot of the old movies.

Oh, why am I wasting time on this? The more I think about it the stupider it gets…. I want my two hours back…

2 thoughts on “How the New Star Wars movies Suck

  1. no name

    The new star wars movies are nothing but eye candy and flashy CG special effects. They completely KILLED the old series and I now really hate George Lucas for destroying his own creation.


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