Hippie Jokes – Google Search

I don’t like hippies. Truely I don’t.

I found this crude and yet somehow funny joke:

Q: What has long hair and looks good in red?
A: A hippie on fire!

So, I decide to try for a few more and go to my favorite search engine:

Hippie Jokes – Google Search

And what do I find? The same two jokes on a bazillion different pages. The one about the Nun, Hippie and Busdriver and the one about George Bush (or who-ever it is that we do not like) mistaking a hippies backpack for a parachute. Again and again. And those joke are not really about hippies. You could easily replace the hippie in the first one with say a shoe-salesman, and the second one only features a hippie because the joke is so old, that it’s from a time backpacks where associated with hippies.

Even browsing around on some of the larger joke sites, I find no hippie jokes. I find the sentence “enough with the hippie jokes” a couple of times on message boards, but no jokes…

Either my google-fu is really bad today, or something strange is going on…

65 thoughts on “Hippie Jokes – Google Search

  1. Jodie

    hmmm… i agree. i was looking for some and there is next to nothing! arrgh, it’s so frustrating because i love when they make fun of them on south park. but that’s about all the hippie humour i get.

  2. Drew

    What’s the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?
    You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

  3. kell

    haha hippies are dumb…..i was dissapointed not to find any jokes about the either……however, i know lots of funny hippie stories

  4. Brandon

    Yes it is great that you all can make fun of somthing you truely do not understand. You are all the reason this great world has fellen to its demise you unenlighten human beings should seriously take a look at the things around you and see what you all have done to this beautiful world i hope you all find this to be helpfull to your sad and pethetic excuse for existance thanks for you time,

  5. john

    i am a hippie and do not give a shit if you make fun of me. jokes are funny. anyone can find something about another person to maKE FUN of.

  6. TC Post author

    Dear Brandon. Yes, the poor misunderstood hippies… right, having been raised by hippies, I think I know more about them then I would ever want to.

  7. rainbowcloudmuddflinger

    Im a hippie from the west of australia.that joke is some what crude. please if u dont have anything nice to say don’t bother.
    ps. watch the young ones, it helps u understand.

  8. TC Post author

    Dear rainbowcloudmuddflinger,

    Hm. "Watch the young ones". If you mean the english televison series, that’s a rather limited and distorted view of the hippie (funny though). If you mean "take a look at the youth of today", I guess that the leason is that the kid of today would know a hippie if one should fall into their little Emo Zombie world. Which is why it’s pointless to make a hippie joke, as no-body know (or cares) what a hippie is. Except old farts with a grudge – like me.

  9. domonic

    A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

    In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and
waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, ?What took you so long??

    He smiled and then told her, ?Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I?m sorry, but they turned me down.?

  10. N8-6

    I’ve got a couple.

    Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: None, they don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags.
    Q: What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

    A: Hockey players shower after three periods.

    Sorry for the crudeness, but that’s all i’ve got. Peace.

  11. anna

    Hippies are cool and peaceful and full of love whats your problem man they never did anything to you peace out>

  12. jagermonsta

    How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, cause hippies can’t change anything! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  13. hippie

    A long-haired male hippie was hitch-hiking and got a ride from a truck driver.

    After the hippie was in the truck for a while he says to the truck driver, "I’ll bet you gave me a ride because you saw my long hair and thought I was a girl, right?"

    The truck driver says, "It doesn’t really matter because I’m gonna’ fuck you anyway."

  14. Flower_child

    How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb??

    None–hippies screw in tents. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I’m often stereotyped as a hippie, and I embrace my hippie-mindedness. These jokes are funny–but don’t be negative towards a stereotype–that’s just ingnorant. ~Namaste~

  15. rubberdubdub

    I think these jokes are really funny, and i think if that you can’t joke about yourself then you can’t be that fun a person. Stop taking everything so seriously as that’s not what life is about.

  16. NC

    Two deadheads walk out of a String Cheese Incident show. One of the deadheads turns to the other and says "Man, that was the WORST Phish show ive ever seen!"

  17. Showman

    Hippies are a blight on an otherwise great nation. The rest of us afford your laziness. The least you could do is help us straights come up with more good hippie jokes…damn hippies…

  18. g . foster

    If the sixties were so great ,why arent we all wearing tye died t shirts and living in wigwams ? …probably because hippies represent everything that doesn’t work if you take a self rightous moron and then add drugs. Keep those jokes coming.

  19. kledou1

    Oh Man,
    I love hatin the hippies.
    Here are a couple of my favorite hippie jokes (I did that for Google!)

    How do you get a hippie chik pregnant?

    Ejaculate on her feet and let the flies do the work.
    Why do all the hippies move to Eugene?

    ‘Cuz there ain’t any work there.

  20. TT

    TC, that’s because Jesus was a hippie and everyone knows not to go there… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. Dusty Bus

    Sounds like alot of people are bitter about missing out on free love. I sypathise but don’t take it out on the hippies just because they know how to enjoy themselves.

  22. 1337HippieHater420 69

    Q: What do you call a Hippie with no teeth?

    A: A FETUS!!!!!!!!!!!

    Take that…..HIPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  23. Francis

    Aint this unbelievable. Here I am doing a search, first of Boy scout jokes and then about hippies. And i Find this site I dont know how. Shit this is funny. I’m a comediant in Puerto Rico and I am creating characters and fuck I’ve had enough fun reading all this crap, and here I am writing some more jejejajaja . Help me out for a name for the hippie character. I’ll try to translate it in spanish.

  24. John

    From someone in the music indutry who has to deal with "hippies" let me say this. There are no hippies nowadays. Just scumbags who hide behind their supposed headiness and rob each other blind. And rich college kids who want to be like them cause they don’t know where else to buy drugs. Hippie hater for life.

  25. rhiannon

    How can you hate people who tried to create love and peace not shipping people off to war like fucking bush? Yeah they did a shit load of drugs but they had really good intentions and good ideas. We should care more about being there for one another and stopping violence and all that shit. The reason hippies aren’t around so much today is because people like some of you drove them away and now they probaly live in a place where no one has ever heard of where they’re excepted there. Hippies had good ideas..and made some pretty kick ass music maybe you should shut up and listen for once.

  26. TC Post author

    rhiannon: Good intentions are nice, but when reality hit the fan, hippies where just like everybody else – power/money grabbing, selfish, and blind to their own faults. I guess that one of the reasons that I don’t like them (hate is to strong a word), is that they are so blind too the fact that they are doing the same shit as everybody else while preaching against it. That makes them hypocrites.

  27. hippie

    what do you call a hippie that just broke up with his girlfriend?????? Homeless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. monterey mud

    how do you know when a hippie chick is on the rag?–she’s only wearing one sock–…what’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?–the hockey player takes a shower after three periods

  29. Andrea

    I think you guys think and judge too much…sheesh….who the hell cares who and what one decides to be? Thats fuckin stupid if you do.
    To much time on your hands

  30. Andrea

    but nonetheless, I like jokes, about anyone, there just funny. Just plain funny. And theres nothing wrong with funny…..unless you have a giant stick up your ass

  31. hippieheart

    hippies will steal your heart and your money and not think twice about it.

    i know better than to trust them long haired, smooth talkin, cute skinny ass hippie boys…….. =)

    But I still love them!!!

  32. HiPpY-pHiL

    a hippy walks into a resturant and sits down at a table, shortly after a waiter comes and askes if he would like to order
    the hippy says "i’ll have a steak and chips"
    "how would you like your steak, rare or well done?" said the waiter
    "not too rare but not too well done but right in the groove" said the hippy
    then the waiter askes if he would like a drink with that,
    "yeah man" said the hippy "i’ll have a coffie, but not too hot or not too cold but right in the groove!"
    the waiter getting a bit pissed off by now said "why dont you kiss my arse, not the left cheeck not the right cheeck but right in the groove!"

  33. ashhh

    You people are so cruel towards hippie: what the hell have they ever done to you?

  34. Al-Gore=Hippy Jesus

    I think Hippies and these latest degenerates, the emos, oughtta leave for Switzerland already. There they can do all the lame crap they do, but just out of my country.

  35. pablopeich

    hey,, you could make a compilation now with all this comments, i came here looking for the jokes, but there is so much hippycristian stuff that is horrible. and well… i have one in spanish
    Se abre el telรณn y aparecen 3 hippies en el rainbow warrior y les cae un rayo. como se llama la pelicula?
    Toma-tres verdes fritos


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